short movie reviews

the ralph meter

The following is a list of movies that have caused me to literally gag:

CAMP (2004)

In order of appearance, the 10 things I hated about going to camp were:

1. The audience (well, those who were inconsiderate and showed lack of common decency to others, in particular:
   • those who arrived late and thought it was ok to wander around, chat and generally be inconsiderate to everyone who did make an effort to be on time.
   • those people who think it is ok to talk once the feature starts (If you have to talk - leave the room - or better do something other than go to a movie)
   • those who thought it was ok to leave their mobiles on - they are annoying and if you are hearing impaired (I'm not) they make hearing aids buzz and screech
2. The acting (what acting?! - admittedly some of the voices were good but being able to sing does not equal being able to act... take Britney for example)
3. The minimalist approach to the story line (I'm sure there are porn movies that put in more effort to their storylines).
4. The fact that it was more of a concert than a musical. A musical is defined as 'A play or movie that contains musical numbers.' and in that sense CAMP was a musical. My personal understanding of a musical (and I've got to admit, I have not seen that many) is 'a play or movie that contains musical numbers that help tell the story and form part of the story'.

Actually... that pretty much sums it up. There were a few great one liners that were really quite funny ('Cinderella' and 'but I've come to the conclusion they're freaks') but even the worse movies can usually boast one or two good lines. The fact the movie was free stopped me from stabbing myself. It was pretty bad. Excruciating even.

The only recommendation I have to make about CAMP is 'don't go'.

see also

• A list of the ten most recent movies the grudknows editor has watched at the cinema, on TV, DVD or video.
• One person's horror... the bourne supremacy
• A rant about people who lack appropriate cinema protocol

One Perfect Day (2004)

I really enjoyed this. A friend I was with described it as a modern day opera. It's not all happy endings though, so if you are the type that needs a happy ending it is probably best you don't go.

japanese story (2003/2004)

Did not know much about this movie before I went, which in retrospect is a good thing - if you don't know what to expect you get the full impact of the movie. Having travelled throughout Australia, I related to the long stretches of open roads, the remote areas and even the parts of the plot of which I had no real personal experience. I loved it.

love actually (2003/2004)

Saw this on boxing day and thoroughly enjoyed it (and that is even though I'd watched the fabulous Lord of the Rings 3 at the first session of the day). It was a feel good movie for the most part and surprisingly all mini-stories did not have happy endings. I enjoyed most of the characters and came out of the cinema refreshed. A friend said she found it a little shallow but laughed her way through it all the same. I never expected rocket science and thought that it was good for the fluffy movie it was.

21 grams (2004)

The plot skipped from one spot to another and as there were no obvious cues between switches, left the viewers with the frustration of having to work exactly where in the story line. Generally, I don't mind a bit of skipping backwards and forwards but in this case it was my biggest criticism. Actors played their roles well but the frustration of the skipping plot meant I did not appreciate the acting as much as I might have otherwise.