The chain letter to END all chain letters... we hope.

Links go to resources containing further information about the actual chains/myths/legends being referred to in the message below. Hopefully these resources will make people think (or look things up) before sending them on... those who are not sure where to start could start with sites dedicated to urban myths, hoaxes and legends such as Snopes or BreakTheChain. You should also be able to get quick answers by copying and pasting a sentence from the email into Google. If you think that's all too hard then you really need to visit: http://www.googleityoumoron.com/

The letter

G'day folks,

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your bloody chain letters over the past few years.

Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of what's left of my heart for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern...

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get crook from the rat shit and urine.

I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I no longer use Glad wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a Northern Territory water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer use margarine because it's one molecule away from being plastic.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from Freesamp or Readers Digest since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy expensive Biscuits from Romainis or [insert company name] since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (Geez, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I will now return the favor.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhoea will crap on your head at 5:00pm this arvo and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd cousin's 3rd husband's ex-wife's mother's beautician!

Sign language!

These signs in Japanese Metro Trains are to indicate priority seating. From left to right the sign indicates:

Priority seating for a person with an injured arm.
Priority seating for a person holding a child.
Priority seating for a pregnant woman.
Priority seating for a person with an injured leg.

Probably not what you thought either, eh?!

AFL season 2006

It is likely that the AFL competition for 2006 will have to be cancelled.

Under the new Anti Terrorism Laws the Bombers are banned.

The new Industrial Relations legislation rules out the Dockers.

The Asian Bird flu epidemic is wreaking havoc with the Crows, Eagles, Hawks, Magpies and Swans and any transfers to the Kangaroos, Cats, Lions, Dogs and Tigers must now be quarantined for at least 12 months.

Religious vilification laws mean that no one can legally barrack for the Demons or the Saints.

This only leaves the Power and the Blues who no one wants to barrack for anyway.

(received via email, author unknown)

Found on a web page

A friend found the following quote at the bottom of a web page she/he was viewing - I'm not sure if it's the same site, but www.atgconsulting.com/doublelist.asp contains such a sentence.

"Remember, we have no advertisers. But please feel free to paste ads from your favorite magazines around the edges of your monitor if it makes you take us more seriously. In any event, let's leave you with the reminder that you were very lucky that some search engine was smart enough to point you here... and so were we."

In the infinitely wise words of Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, "Get the gun, Willie. We're being fucked." anon.

Hurricane survival kit

Hurricane Rita was not funny, but if you prepare properly you can get through these storms with what is important. It's all about priorities.

Toilet Paper
Bud Light
Keystone Ice
Budweiser
Red Dog
Misc. other bottles of alcohol
Piece of plywood to float your old lady and booze on

Next time let's all be more prepared.

Inside the mens toilet...

Yup, it's real. This particular men's bathroom is located in the Sofitel Hotel, Queenstown, New Zealand.

Get more background information and happily assure yourself this is for real using this Google Search.

Friendly Spam Archives

[Current], Apr 07, Mar 07, Feb 07, Jan 07, Sep-Dec 06, Aug 06, Jul 06, Jun 06, May 06, Apr 06, Mar 06, Feb 06, Jan 06, Dec 05, Nov 05, Oct 05, Sep 05, Aug 05, Jul 05, Jun 05, May 05, Apr 05, Mar 05, Feb 05, Jan 05, Dec 04, Nov/Dec 04, Oct/Nov 04

Other grudknows link collections: StumbleUpon | del.icio.us | Shadows | digg.com

Web links: November 2005

Not Martha - to make : marble magnets - I dunno, it's almost christmas and this is a cheap and possibly funky idea. mebbe. Depends what you do with it really. Ducks spring to my mind.
Banksy - Artist/Cultural Jammer (creative protestor?)
Take it Personally - practical ways to make a difference. Anita Roddick's website offers practical ways in which people can make a different - especially for those who don't feel they have time for activism but who want to do something.
Anita Rodderick - personal blog of activist and the woman behind the Body Shop.
World Aids Day 1 December 2005. The 2005 theme is 'Let's Talk About It'.
A Positive View: Images of HIV and AIDS in South Africa - A Positive View is a photographic exhibition touring Australia for 4 weeks in November and December 2005, coinciding with AIDS Awareness Week and World AIDS Day on 1 December.
Ad Busters - anti ads
Is Harry potter really just a rework of Star Wars? :)
British-trained police in Iraq 'killed prisoners with drills' - Aaah, so *this* is what democracy looks like it when you inflict it on people. Baaah! Human rights should only be reserved for people like Us (I believe the term 'Decent White Folk' is one commonly used in these situations) and not those foreign types. When I say foreign, I mean the people in their own country over there, not the people occupying their country and refusing to learn the lingo, taking their jobs and trying to change their society. Or was that? No wait. Hang on, I think I've got it. Nope, I've got nothing. Anyone able to explain?
Body: Senses challenge - check how good your sensory perceptions actually are :) (quiz/game/test)
John Clarke & Bryan Dawe participate in a short satire shown at the IR Rallies (very amusing). "Prime Minister John Howard" said a few words at the Nov 15 rally. Watch the Quicktime Video (mov) or Windows Media Video (wmv). [from yourRightsAtWork website]
Dubya's hotmail - satire from albinoBlackSheep.com
grant robinson - the guy behind the 'guess the google' game... other games and 'stuff to do' can be found on this site.
Guess the Google - game. You get given a series of pictues and have to guess what search term returned the pics.
Workplace relations reforms: a chronology of business, community and Government responses
Sky & telescope interactive sky chart - get a map of the constellations for a particular time/location.
Michele - a personal blog. I like the site banner, the bio and the word games.
BadMash: Presidential speechalist - A short film from Comedy Central's Last Laugh 2004. Andy Dick as Harlan McCraney, the genius behind George Dubyah Bush's stupidity. Can the reason behind his speeches really be that simple? Watch and find out.
Anti-terrorism law debate kicks off - from ABC News
House passes IR bill after debate gagged - from ABC News
CNNNN discovers Americans support war on Kyrgyzstan, 'wherever it may be' - Is Australia such a generic shape on the map that it can easily be mistaken for Iran or North Korea?
Anti-Terrorism Bill 2005 - not particularly friendly, but worth reading... just, perhaps, not right before bed time.
Political Reality - Wil Anderson opinion/article/comedy. Move over Big Brother, it's time for Big Voter. Forget Popstars, we're talking Poll-stars. Yes, that's right, Channel Seven have announced plans to stage a reality TV show to pick a candidate for the next federal election.
Self Stirring Mug - the perfect gift for those travelling to the USA where spoons, allegedly, are scarce.
Movember - bloody hell sim shady, if you are going to look like a lumberjack, do it for a cause ... or shave! [Other resources that encourage men who Really Shouldn't - prostate.org.au, and... one not so altruistic, movember.org].
el baile de yoda - What George Lucas didn't want you to see. *sigh* I guess you have to be somewhat of a Star Wars to appreciate this one... <wanders around randomly... lost>
And the War Goes on - by Bob Herbert. Gee... I wish he would say what he means
We nominated Google for the 2003 U.S. corporate Big Brother of the Year - *sobs*... <defiance>BUT... google *is* my friend</defiance>. (Ironically, after receiving this article via email, I did a search in... you guessed it Google and it came up as the no. 1 result... so at least they don't discriminate against bad publicity in search results :))
Jon Stanhope, Chief Minister ACT
Raids foil terrorist attack: police chiefs - It's awful when you read a news story and wonder if the whole thing is just a form of propaganda.
Some deaths in SA care suspicious: commissioner - Does anyone know who the magistrate is that Justice Mullighan cleared?
French police shot by rioting mob - About 30 policemen have been injured by shots and stones in a Paris suburb - on an 11th night of unrest across France.
The shirt - if you are giving the gift of cash, here's something cutsey to do with it...
Intelligent Design Trial - Satire from the Onion
I am not authorized to initiate Jihad
Corpse Flower - a friend sent me this 'rotten flowers' email on the 24th of last month, and I looked but hadn't got aroudn to posting here. ooops. [more resources]
Moms who think - I like the recognition that becoming a parent does not mean you no longer think, have opinions or great ideas. (I'm not a parent but have friends who prove this concept is not just a myth).
Rat Monster - movie / prank... oh it made me laugh! (Fav line, "Do you need help little man?")
Google it you moron! - a link to send those who have been online for a while and have repeatedly committed the offence of spamming you hoaxes/urban myths or who have asked one too many silly questions.
Who's On First for the Next Generation - Satire: dialogue between Georgy Porgy and Condi :)
The Evolution of a Programmer - funny if you are a programmer, know a programmer... or like nerd/geek humour.
Cooking By Numbers - working with the ingredients you already have :)
Tree of Life Web Project - a collaborative effort of biologists from around the world. On more than 4000 World Wide Web pages, the project provides information about the diversity of organisms on Earth, their evolutionary history (phylogeny), and characteristics.