you're so on my side of the bed

It came via email and I don't know the original source... nor could I find it in a quick search.

how to clean the house

Open a new file in your PC.
Name it "Housework".
Send it to the RECYCLE BIN.
Empty the RECYCLE BIN.
Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?"
Calmly answer, "Yes".
Press the mouse button FIRMLY!
Feel better?

Works for me!

mr e's reading & commentary...

New US definition of WMD - Interesting - US Justice Department person says that "in our world" WMD means .... the US is increasingly moving into a world of its own, totally divorced from where the rest of us live.
Links to an article by Marcin Król: John Paul the moderniser / Pope John Paul II: the trailblazer and modernizer Giovannni Paulo Secundo was against the death penalty, the war in Iraq and unfettered capitalism - E. (Polish perspective, Papal Legacy: Questioning Capitalism: John Paul II is difficult to understand for many Americans. He, like the church he led, was neither Democrat nor Republican. This Pope was more pro-human rights than Jimmy Carter and more anti-communist than Ronald Reagan. But it was in economics that the Pope was even more challenging to the American mind. Polish scholar Marcin Król explains John Paul II's "Third Way" between capitalism and communism. It's worth a read. Marcin Król is dean of history at Warsaw University, holder of its Erasmus chair, and publisher of Res Publica, Poland's leading intellectual journal.
WMD Commission Releases Scathing Report This cannot be true! The Americans cannot be wrong! - E. Editor's Note: In July of 2003, according to CNN, Bush claimed to have "darned good intelligence" on Iraq. Now, his hand-picked commission has published a report that blames the darned good intelligence community for the fact that no weapons of mass destruction were found in Iraq, and all but exonerates the Bush administration. Clearly, this is a whitewashing of historic proportions.

further reflections on parsley

Parsley
Is gharsley.

by Ogden Nash

finally... a smart blonde joke

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $110,000 Mercedes Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

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Web links: Apr 2005

hooray for slugs!
inside b's head - he says, 'i have this in my head. meep.'
Carjackers swipe biometric Merc, plus owner's finger
Ah, L'Amour - a bitter film by Don Hertzfeldt
Petition: Recognition of Dr Holt's Cancer Treatment
Tamara's Diary - an update from Tamara on: the MS Cycling Challenge, Sri Lanka, India
Rocky (movie)
Dancing with the stars: Tom Williams/Kym Johnson Yeah, yeah. I'm opposed to reality TV, never watch the show... but I was emailed this and I am feeling very non-discriminatory today :)
forming opinions/pt 2 - an article on Xforms from O'Reilly's XML.com (it's an article for coders).
Eleven on Top - Excerpt from Book 11 of the Plum Series by Janet Evanovich.
if i had my life to live over - this time emailed by a friend whose grandma passed away. (I picked a link that didn't have too much vomit inducing decoration)
bread is dangerous
an interview with god - the presentation
salisbury east high school mathematics exam (joke/black humour/more than a little 'ist')
May 1 Reboot - prolly most interesting to designers
women explained by engineers - pictorial humour
Surfer fends off shark attack, keeps riding (news article)
Mosh Girl - I like the thought of her being run over :)
Sponsor an Aussie working dog - ABC story | sponsor a working dog website Queensland based group - it's good to see that they're showing a bit of imagination.
racial profiling: what if celebrities were born with a different skin colour? / what if celebrities were sideshow freaks?
Coastal Surey - This survey is intended to help determine the scenic attractiveness of South Australia's coast.
Adobe to take over Macromedia - Adobe Systems Incorporated has announced a definitive agreement to acquire Macromedia in an all-stock transaction.
TV-Turnoff Week I went and looked at the website. Good grief. That's just too full on. Don't bother visiting it. Nice idea, but horrible and insane website!
Fido 7up puzzle
beer can bob
the geek test apparently, I'm I am 19.2663% Geek. sigh.
Dr Batman to the rescue (article/news)
Essential new vocabulary for the workplace
ear candling - So I was asked to day if I knew where a friend could get hold of an ear candle. I'd never heard of them... if you haven't either see: the straight dope | quack watch
walking man 1 | 2 - I received the walking man chain letter today. Did I tell you that I hate chain letters (I use to hate them back in the days where they were distributed on paper by mail). Anyway... I heard the walking man got run over by a bus today. And died. So perhaps you are going to have to do something a little more constructive than send spam to create world peace.
FemDefence: a protection against rape - ouch! like really ouch. from which ever angle you look at it. (read the 'background' for info on where the idea originates).
the top 100 things i'd do if i ever became an evil overlord - some items may make you laugh... others may make you think how practical the writer/s are.
To damage your brain, try New World Order. Strangely infantile yet strangely compelling... :)
i ate an army rat pack followed by commentary from another source
excerpts from reviews we will never hear (humour/wishful thinking)
random acts - Practice Random Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty / Practice Random Cruelty and Senseless Acts of Violence
star wars lego video game - indeed. as if we are not overinundated with starwars already. sigh. lego + star wars = nerds best friend.
Steven Morgan Friedman - someone's home page found via a chain of not-necessarily-related events. Some amusing links.
cyranet greeting cards (worth a flip through, some are quite good)
this is true: current issue - They say, 'truth is often funnier than fiction'. This newsletter kind of demonstrates that THEY might be right for once.
further reflections on parsley - link to an item on this page.
an 'intelligent blonde' joke - link to an item on this page.
Ms. Wheelchair Wisconsin - stripped of her title (article/news)
Nice Cup of Tea and Sit Down ummmm... for tea lovers... mebbe. (eg. crumb test dummy)
working where the sun don't shine - The Colorectal Surgeon's Song (lyrics)
Chuck Game (flash/game) throw the man
Never Copped a Feel (flash/black humour) - Yus, once again someone feels the need to mock Michael Jackson.
lost frog - just keep clicking on them there pics... adda boy/girl! (possibly humour... mostly quirkiness)
born to be alive (flash/quirkiness)