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Add page to: Add page to: My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
Heard your husband/wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
He/she moved in with me.
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, Queensland & Tasmania)
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay
I was emailed these jokes... while I feel quite sorry for the poor couple I do think Cammila looks a bit horsey. Quite Frankly if any couple in my aquaintance wanted to get together and other people told them they didn't think it should be allowed, they'd be seriously pissed.
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Maybe they should allow men to have extra days for 'whoops, I've got an unexpected erection'...
Apparently... this is the current terror alert level. I dunno... I'm just going with it.
I like it. Even though my brain groans a little everytime I receive it via email.
Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures
Remember... when someone annoys you -
it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown,
BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm
and bitch slap that mother@#?!&! upside the head