Training the cat

The cat has for some time now thought it quite amusing to sit outside of the front door at all hours of the night and early hours of the morning and miaow constantly until a bedraggled, tired and usually grumpy human comes to bid his calling. I am sure the results are funny if you are a cat. From the human perspective... it is really not that amusing at all.

The humans of the household have tried a number of tactics to try to stop this torment, including the traditional spraying the cat with water (yeah, right! after the first few times where he looked down right indignant, he decided to make a game of it and miaow and then hide). No luck has been found with any method to date. Ignoring him (or pretending to) does nothing but increase stress levels, sleep deprivation and anger. So... I've now come up with an idea that requires a little more energy but hopefully a little less stress. I've decided just to train him to always go around the back of the house where he can sometimes get in a cat flap and at other times, at least find shelter.

Today... 10:30ish... 'miaow... miaow... miiiiiiiaaaaaaooooww' (and so on) eminates from the front door. I get up from the couch where I am have been chortling over a novel, grab my keys, put on some shoes and open the door. I put my hand down so the cat can't come in and step out the door myself. The cat looks intrigued. I pick him up, walk out the gate and around to the lane way and to the back entrance to the house. I sit the cat on the fence - a place he commonly enters and exits the yard and start off back around the front to go back inside. I get most of the way back down the lane way and ... Zoooooom, the cat sprints past me with a smug 'I'm winning' look on his feline face. I go back in the house, while he is still smugly sitting on the footpath, telling him as I go that he is not coming in the front door and that he has to learn to go in the back way. He pretends to listen. I then go back inside to my book.

Half and hour goes by and the cat starts up his regular demands at the front door. Again, I get up, thump down the hall way, shove on some shoes, grab my keys, obstruct him from coming in and grab him and start for the lane way again. He wants down so I put him down on the ground and he happily follows me to the lane way and around the back. I put him on the fence again, tell him to go in and start off around the front. Yup... you guess it ... Wheeeeeee, the cat goes flying past thinking this is a really great new game. I roll my eyes, go back inside and try to return to my book.

I have been sitting down for all of a few minutes when... miaow, miaaaoww, MIAOOOOOWWWW. I sigh, stand up... shoes, keys, get outside without letting the cat in, grab him, go round the back, this time I fumble with the lock on the roller door, open it, check for the bunny (don't want him escaping and adding to my trauma) go in. The cat follows... finally!

This is not success (as much as I would like to tell myself it was). Firstly, I should not have had to go to the bother of going in via the roller-door myself, the cat should have just worked out that I meant for him to go in that way. Secondly, The only reason he followed me in the back, albeit over the fence, was because he thought it was an extended version of the game we were (apparently) playing. I'm not quite ready to give up after just a day of The Plan. Nope, I am going to perservere for a week or so before giving up in despair (or gleefully dancing around in joy at my success) so you can (probably) expect another update in the next few days.