Buskers and Beggars

There are a lot of buskers in the city. Most I walk by with nothing more than a cursory glance. Some, around festival time, are exceptional and I would love to see what they are up to and give them a few dollars in appreciation - and do when I can get in early/close enough... I am not into having to try and peer over the tops of heads or between legs to see, too much stress... move on.

There is one busker who I frequently give a gold coin. It is not that he is good. Oh boy. He is actually quite atrocious. He plays an organ and the tune, if you can actually call it that, is just "dunk... dunk... dunk dunk... dunk" - over and over again. Monotony. Irritating. No skill. So why do I give him not just a coin, but a gold one? Perserverance. He was playing the same organ and the same irritating nonsence back in '88 when I was at business college. Since then, he has just moved streets. 14 years deserves a gold coin every now and then. There are of course others who have been around for that long too, but none who really stick out in my mind - perhaps because they are not so irritating. Sadly, they will never get a dollar. It is some weird warped affectionate motivation that makes me happily hand over a dollar or two to him and I have no intention of analysing it.

Another guy, who have have just noticed recently, sits on the street or in door ways with his dog and a bowl. That's it. No singing. No dancing... not even, "so can I tell you a joke for a dollar?". Nothing. And, he wants me to give him money. Phfffffffft. I walk by, probably on occassion staring at him with an incredulous look. You want money for nothing, who the hell do you think you are? (obviously he took Dire Straits a little too seriously in the 80's). This is fine. He doesn't ask, I don't offer. His bowl hints to those who are that they could help him out with a bit of cash, but mostly he is non-instrusive. Mostly. One day he called out 'excuse me...' and then *asked* me if I'd like to give him some money. I said 'No.' and moved on. Damn. I missed an opportunity. I want him to ask again so I can vent my extreme annoyance at him and tell him that in return for MY dollar I want a joke at the very least. If he tells me one, even a lame one, he will get the dollar. But if he responds negatively to the suggesion, no dollar for him. A friend suggested if you were a smoker and he asked if you wanted to put something in his bowl, you could use it as an ashtray ("here, have a butt"). One day, I might come prepared with a can of dog food. The dog that is with him probably deserves it.

My favourite beggar/busker story of late is a guy that just stood with a sing saying "50 cents". That's it. No songs, no dance, no trick, no joke but he had a sign. And, this is second hand information, but apparently, it worked. People gave him 50 cents, and in some cases more. My very pragmatic and rational friend (who is going to hate that descriptiona and in her defence I should state she also possesses a streak of loveable madness and unpredictability) thought it was insane but even she *almost* gave him some cash. What a great ploy. I am going to try it one day. Like, do people ask what it is for, or people being people do they just "not wanna know, in case it is something they don't want to deal with" and instead just hand over cash to try and help them feel better about themselves. Bizarre.

Anyway, the whole reason I started writing this is because a friend of mine has a theory about buskers. A good theory so I wanted to share it. I can't look at buskers without wondering about it these days. His theory is that buskers aren't there for the cash, or the joy or because they want to be, but in reality they are people that somehow, probably through seedy associations and actions, called up a demon. Now, in order to stop their souls from going straight to hell they are forced to sing, or read poetry or play crappy music they hate day after day and hour after hour just to keep their souls. They are bored with the poetry, they don't wanna read another line, they are almost nodding off to sleep but they have to force themselves to stay awake else it's bye-bye soul. What a great theory. I love it.