Food Rules #1 - Baked Beans

This In(s)ane Muttering is going to be about beans, baked beans. Baked beans and I have had a great relationship since I was young. My Dad used to take my brothers trail bike riding and insisted a hot breakfast of "beans on toast" was essential and he referred to it as a "trail bike riders breakfast". Yes, my father is English, we didn't stand a chance really...

I'm a very fussy eater, I have "food rules"; I love baked beans and they too are subject to strict rules.

Rule #1

Baked beans may only be eaten with bread or a bread equivalent.

Rule #2

It is unacceptable to eat baked beans straight from the can.

Rule #3

Baked beans may only be eaten hot at breakfast time on toast. The toast should be warm, buttered and cut into 9 squares before topped with molten beans, only one piece of toast should be topped with beans and a second cut in half and reserved for mopping the plate. It is not acceptable to have to cut the toast once the beans are added.

Rule #4

Baked beans may be served hot or cold for lunch. If served hot, Rule #3 for hot breakfast should be observed. Beans may also be placed in a toasty sandwich maker; lunch is the only time it is acceptable to have a toasted baked bean sandwich.

Rule #5

At dinner time, Rule #3 should apply. Cold beans should not be consumed for dinner.

Rule #6

Only Heinz Original Baked Beans or Heinz Salt Reduced Bakes Beans should be consumed.

Rule #7

It is not acceptable to reheat previously warmed baked beans, nor is it acceptable to store or consume beans that have already been opened.

Posted by grud on behalf of the author to maintain anonymity.

Labels: Food

Posted by grudknows : Wednesday, July 19, 2006
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